How to have a marriage without compromise
February 19, 2015 § Leave a comment
When people say marriage is all about compromise, I cringe. This word comes with such negative connotations. It just adds to the negative myths people throw at marriage. What if couples are compromising because maybe they haven’t been properly educated on how to have an argument?
Rather than thinking about issues as arguments, I think of them as problem solving opportunities. If we find ourselves getting continually frustrated with one another, we just take that as a sign that there is something underlying the arguing that needs resolving.
The problem is, often we think we know what the problem is, when really we have no idea. With problem solving, we go back to the start to define what the problem actually is, because “A Problem Well Defined is a Problem Half Solved”. Many times being able to accurately define the problem leads directly to the best and most obvious solution for both of you. No compromise, just smiles. We call it A + B = C, where A is one partner’s idea of the solution, B is the other partner’s, and C is what you can actually come up with when you define the problem properly.
Get in touch with us if you’re keen to learn more. We’re finalising a problem solving guide that takes engaged or married couples through this process step by step.