Submit! – que?

July 16, 2009 § Leave a comment


I was chatting to my good friend the other day about submitting to your husband. She had been to a wedding where she was horrified to hear the bride (a Christian wedding) say in her vows that she would submit to her husband! I said the meaning of the word submission has altered and been lost to some extent through the ages, to now hold negative connotations. Actually what it originally means to portray is simply that the husband is the head of the family, and he is perfectly capable of making good decisions on behalf of his family. We often forget too, that in the same part of the passage* that encourages wives to submit, the husband is encouraged to love his wife as he loves himself. So, his good decisions are supposed to take her honoured opinions into account.

If there is a decision to be made between a couple and neither can decide the best option, wives might submit to their husbands in that they trust their husband to make the call. If she doesn’t trust him – hey, didn’t she choose him as her husband…? 🙂 When the husband is given that trust, and that responsibility, he will grow to assume responsibility for the decision made and carry any consequential burdens of that decision. That’s a load off for the wife!

There are so many examples I can think of where my husband and I talk for hours about the best thing to do in certain situations. It’s pretty tempting for me to try and make the decision myself! How empowering it is though for the husband to realize that his wife both believes he is able to make the decision and will stick by that decision. If you believe you have a husband who is not capable of making such decisions, have a think about how willing you are to stick by him and how often you make the decision for him. Like to tell him which way to turn from the passenger seat in the car..? Yep, I have to stop myself too! As wives, we need to build our husbands up and let them act like a man. They are physically stronger and we can’t argue against that. That’s because they are built to be the head of the family. Let them stand up and be a man. That’s what submit means.

*Ephesians 5:21-29:

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.

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